GETTING MARRIED
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"Make [your wedding] a real celebration – because marriage is a celebration – a Christian celebration, not a worldly feast! … What happened in Cana 2,000 years ago, happens today at every wedding celebration: that which makes your wedding full and profoundly true will be the presence of the Lord who reveals himself and gives his grace. It is his presence that offers the 'good wine', he is the secret to full joy, that which truly warms the heart."
Pope Francis, Address to Engaged Couples Preparing for Marriage
Congratulations on your engagement! The St. Columba Parish family is excited to celebrate your upcoming marriage at our church. Please know of our prayers for you during this time of preparation!
Below, you'll find a step-by-step guide to getting married at our church, as well as some frequently asked questions about the process.
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STEP ONE:
Complete the Wedding Inquiry FormWe're excited to celebrate the beginning of your married lives together! To get started, we'll need some information about you.
Fill out the Wedding Inquiry form here.
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STEP TWO:
Priest Meeting #1Once you've completed the wedding inquiry form, we will reach out to set up a meeting with one of our priests, who will walk you through the marriage preparation process. You'll meet a total of three times - this first meeting will be to go over the process and set a date for your wedding.
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STEP THREE: Complete a Marriage Preparation Program (Pre-Cana)The Archdiocese of New York offers several marriage prepartion programs to assist you in preparing not just for your wedding day, but for your entire life as a married couple. Our priests will help you register and find one that best fits your schedule.
We also highly encourage you to take a course on Natural Family Planning/Fertility Awareness. Knowing how God designed our bodies and fertility is a beautiful opportunity to love one another more deeply.
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STEP FOUR:
Priest Meeting #2After you complete Pre-Cana, you'll meet with the priest again to discuss your experience at Pre-Cana and the results of your Pre-Marital Inventory, which will be done as part of your Pre-Cana experience. At this meeting, we will show you how to plan your Wedding Mass or Ceremony as well as schedule a rehearsal date and time.
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STEP FIVE:
Obtain required certificatesIn addition to a marriage license, we will also need baptismal and other sacramental certificates, letter of freedom (if the bride or groom are not parishioners of St. Columba), and additional documents which the priest will go over with you.
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STEP SIX:
Priest Meeting #3About two months before the wedding, we'll meet again to complete your papework and fill out the PMI (Pre-Matrimonial Investigation). We will also complete the plans for your Wedding Mass or Ceremony and review what you need to bring to your rehearsal.
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STEP SEVEN:
Go to ConfessionWe highly encourage you to attend the Sacrament of Reconciliation prior to your wedding. You can view our confession times here, or you can make an appointment with a priest. (Pending availability, he may be able to offer confession during your rehearsal.)
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STEP EIGHT:
Attend the RehearsalTypically held the evening prior to your wedding day, we will gather at the church to practice the wedding ceremony and answer any last minute questions you may have.
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the wedding day
The day is finally here! We are so excited to celebrate this beautiful occassion with you and your family.
Here is the general overview of the wedding day at St. Columba:- Ushers, the Best Man, and the Groom arrive generally 1/2 hour to 15 minutes before the wedding. Ushers seat your guests, and the Best Man and Groom wait in the sacristy.
- When the Bride arrives, she is escorted to the church narthex. When the Bride is set, the parents are escorted to the first-row Center by the ushers.
- The Priest/Deacon, the Best Man and the Groom go to their places and the Procession begins.
- Seating:
- The Bridal Party sits in the first pew on the side aisles. If necessary, the second pew is used as well.
- The Best Man, Maid (Matron) of Honor, Bride and Groom sit on seats in front of the altar.
- Readers and Gift Bearers may sit anywhere, but preferable at the end of a pew.
- At the end of the Wedding, the recessional is in reverse order: Bride and Groom, Bridal Party, Parents, then guests.
- The bride and groom go out the front door (in good weather) and stand together with their parents and the Bridal Party. If the weather is poor, you may line up inside the church atrium.
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Marriage FAQs
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We know how eager you are to get married - and that's a good thing! The Catholic Church requires that you spend at least six months in preparation for your wedding (it's not a St. Columba rule - this is at any Catholic church in the world). This preparation isn't just to give you time to complete the requirements, but it is meant to be a time to deepen your relationship and prepare for the commitment you are making.
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Weddings take place on Fridays evenings, Saturday mornings or afternoons, or Sunday afternoons. Normally only one wedding will be scheduled per day. You'll schedule your wedding with the priest at your first meeting.
IMPORTANT NOTE: Your wedding date is not confirmed until after this first meeting. Please do not schedule any other vendors/services (i.e. reception hall, flowers, etc.) until after your wedding date has been confirmed with St. Columba.
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You may choose any priest* or deacon of St. Columba to celebrate your Wedding. Normally this priest or deacon will guide you through all the meetings and the rehearsal.
On occasion, couples have a priest/deacon relative or friend that they would like to invite to celebrate their wedding. We are happy to welcome our fellow clergy to St. Columba! Please arrange for them to fill out the Visiting Priest/Deacon Information sheet as soon as possible and have them contact our Pastor to ensure that all paperwork is in order.
*Please understand that during the summer months, we cannot guarantee that a particular priest will be available for your date. We usually determine summer vacation schedules in the spring. At that time, you will be told which priest will be available for your wedding.
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Please contact us prior to filling out the wedding intake form. Each case is unique about what may be required to get married in the Church, and we can better serve you with a conversation first.
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The Church has a beautiful process known as convalidation, which allows (under certain circumstances) those who were married outside the Church to have their marriage validated as a sacramental marriage. Please contact us if you'd like more information about convalidation!
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Absolutely! There may be some additional forms and meetings required depending on the faith of your fiancé, and it may affect what takes place during the wedding itself. The priest can discuss all of these things with you at your first meeting.
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Usually but not always, the marriage takes place in the bride’s church. Either the bride or groom (or their parents) should be registered parishioners of St. Columba, or the bride or groom received their sacraments here, attended SDSC, or went to Religious Education here.
On occasion, couples from outside the parish (with no connection to St. Columba’s Parish) request the use of our church. If the parish schedule permits, the request may be granted at the discretion of the pastor.
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In most cases, you can choose to have your wedding take place during a Nuptial Mass or have a Wedding Ceremony. The main difference is that a ceremony does not include the Liturgy of the Eucharist. We highly encourage you to have your wedding take place during a Mass - what a beautiful first act together as a married couple!
If the marriage is taking place between a Catholic and a non-baptized person, then the wedding will take place as a Wedding Ceremony.
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At your rehearsal, you will be asked to bring the following:
- $175 cash or check made out to St. Columba Church for use of the church building
- $125 cash or check made out to cash for the organist (whether or not you will be using her services)
- $100 cash or check made out to cash for the cantor
It is also customary to tip the Altar Servers on the day of the Wedding. (Two servers for a Nuptial Mass, one for a Ceremony, usually $10.00 each).
If finances would keep you from being able to be married in the church, please reach out to us - no one will be turned away for financial reasons.
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i was married elsewhere; can i get my marriage blessed?
If you were married outside the Church, we would love to explore the process of convalidation with you. This is an opportunity to have your marriage recognized as a sacrament in the Catholic Church, including receiving all of the graces that are so helpful in navigating life as a married couple. Each situation is unique, so we invite you to contact us to see if convalidation is a possibility and to schedule a date if so.
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